Jim and Laura Sauer
-Interviewed by Gwyneth Bledsoe, April 29, 2010
Jim and Laura’s life was admittedly “chaotic” before they joined the New Hope Relational Program. They were walking away from unpaid rent, robbing Peter to pay Paul, living over their income and wearing their friends and family out with repeated requests for assistance. Initially they both had jobs, but Laura had to quit her 11-year job at Wal-Mart and her second job at DirecTV to take care of her hospitalized daughter, followed soon after by her hospitalized grandson who needed constant care. The stress of living on a reduced income combined with Jim’s deceitfulness about their finances coincided with Laura’s heart attack. Their marriage was falling apart. When Laura was released to work again, no one was hiring. Jim’s paycheck was used up paying overdraft fees which had reached $3,000 by December 2008. They had three or four credit cards, one of which amounted to $1,000. All in all, their debt totaled $31,000, at least half of which was medical bills. Laura describes that period as worse than being in prison. “We were dead inside, without hope, with no light at the end of the tunnel and no end in sight. You numb yourself to everything except anger and rage.”
Realizing they needed to do something to take care of the mess they had created, they followed a friend’s advice and contacted Love INC from the web site. In spite of Jim’s reluctance to accept someone telling him how to run his finances, they joined the New Hope Relational program in January 2009. This was the turning point for them. As they filled out the mandatory notebook with each expense, they began to realize where the money was going and how little they actually needed. They began to confront their demons, get a handle on their finances, and start working as a team in decision-making, instead of Laura wearing the pants. She says, “I am very strong-willed and opinionated, but I learned humility, to talk things out, to listen and to know when to shut up. We gained mutual respect, learned to love each other and not let the sun go down on our wrath, like it says in the Bible.” She encourages other couples with marital problems to act as partners and teammates instead of fighting. Jim admits that many times he wanted to quit the program. He says, “It was hard not having easy access to our money. I didn’t like bartering for my own money each week.” But he points out that the definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” He knew changes had to take place if he wanted to see the insanity stop.
Over time they learned to become self-sufficient, to can, make bread, freeze meals for a month, and make their own pizza rolls. Jim normally did the cooking, but now Laura is learning to cook. Recognizing how tired he is after work, she is happy to share in this responsibility. They were grateful for the food boxes, clothing, auto repairs, oil changes, bike repairs provided by Love INC which allowed them to live on one income, making do with very little. During this time, they had custody of their grandson for two and a half years while their daughter turned her life around. Being in the program allowed them to make payments to creditors, buy food, diapers and formula and pay for school costs for Calvin. He was the son they had always wanted. Now their daughter is happily married to a wonderful man and they have a new baby. It will be devastating for Jim and Laura to give Calvin back, but they considered their time with him a blessing, especially now that their daughter’s life is on track.
While in the program, with prayer and guidance from their counselor they called and negotiated settlements with their creditors. The hospital also forgave a large portion of their debt, cutting their total debt in half.
Their goals were to afford their own home, get out of debt, provide for their grandchildren’s needs, keep their cars repaired and serviced and get rid of the feeling of despair and helplessness. They have achieved most of these and are waiting to be qualified for a home in Kuna. Laura says, “It took us 11 months to be free. We learned to work together and rely on God – He knows what we need. As it says in Ecclesiastes: ‘A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.’”
